Dear Mr Griffin,

I write to you in the hope I find
an answer to this irk of mine,
I'm disillusioned with this land
and think you might be just the man
to help.

The papers stating every day,
Our way of life, it slips away,
Superseded by a culture,
That strips this nation like a vulture

We need a way to keep the good,
The pillars of our neighbourhood,
To take away the scrounging scum
Who try to make us all succumb
to their ways.

A lack of discipline in schools,
A resistance to the hand that rules,
The police are never shown respect,
We no longer value intellect
above celebrity.

We need someone to take the lead,
To make us do away with greed,
To take us forward to the fight,
To make this country great and right

The problem with this that I've found,
There's just no role model around,
That lives up to your manifesto,
And believe me I've done my best to
find one.

Jesus is your Option One,
But he was born of an immigrant mum,
Mary ran to Egypt to hide
While Herod and his infanticide
was rife.

He was also strictly anti-racist,
An out-spoken, Jewish, Anti-Nationalist,
Homeless and Aramaic speaking,
With dark Middle-Eastern skin
to boot.

With your policy on immigration,
For the founding model of this nation,
To be an immigrant himself,
Would not restore the country's health,
I'm sure.

Going even further back,
I think I'll find a general lack,
Of candidates with the X Factor,
Because we all descend from Africa

Our dark hair fell out and was replaced
With UV resistant dark skin in its place,
Our skin eventually toned down
as we moved away from areas around
the equator.

The lack of vitamin D produced
By darker skin had reduced
Our health, and so we embraced UV
as a means to the prosperity
of our race.

The exception to this evolution
Is evident in the dark-skinned Inuit population,
whose diet that is rich in fishy gain
allowed them to retain
their darker skin.

The thing is Nick, I'm struggling to find
a single example of mankind
that isn't at some point descended
from skin tones that you've recommended
we exile.

A glance through history reveals,
the implementation of your ideals
results in what's called Ethnic Cleansing,
Something you may recall ending
In the slaughter of 6 millions Jews.

Your policies, I feel, do not promote
a well informed and moral vote
for environment, change and education
to make this wonderfully diverse nation

You prey on fear of the unknown,
Promote a vision of your own,
To serve your selfish agenda,
Increase your wealth with propaganda
and hate.

Father Christmas, Bogeymen, The Tooth Fairy,
Are childish ploys to keep us wary,
To use such things in politics
is tantamount to dirty tricks
of which you should be ashamed.

So think on this with your originally African brain,
Who do really thinks' to blame
for the steady descent of our country
to welfare state and reality TV

Charity begins at home,
and the blame lies firmly alone
with the lazy natives of the UK,
who'd rather take benefits than work a day
of their lives.

Don't hide behind policy, don't be a coward,
Come out and preach. It's your finest hour!
And let's see if people decide to hunt
You down, you ignorant, racist c*nt.

Adam and Eve
Cain and Able
Noah and The Ark
Jonah and The Whale
The Virgin Mary
The Queen of Sheba
Zechariah and John
Jesus of Nazareth

All of the above are stories from the Bible and the Qur'an.
Now let me hear you criticise Islam.